0:07 - the aspect ratio on the Film 4 logo is wrong; we will fix that on Monday
0:16 - you might want to add some sound to your studio ident
0:18 - fade to black before bringing up the first slide. Also, we should lose the space between the lines. I can do this on Monday
0:25 - similar issue with the second slide. Also, need to have the word "died" at the end of the second line rather than hanging
0:33 - if you're going to use the fade on "civilians" you should fade the other slides in and out at well
0:41 - don't forget the film 4 credit before the "Esther" credit
0:51 - we needs some more credits (at least camera, editor, producer and writer) before the director credit. The credits themselves look quite good, although the audio needs sorting
0:54 - you've lost the audio on the third shot of the guy being captured
0:56 - these credits should go before the director credits; again the audio needs sorting
I would be tempted to desaturate the shots of the guy on the floor, to make it look more washed out and grim
1:18 - take the drop shadow off the "8 weeks" caption; use the same style as you did for the opening. We may need to tweak where we put the caption
1:22 - this pan should just be a 2/3 s static ES focusingon the path your character goes down; an extreme long shot to set up the setting
1:40 - could do with something to bridge between the coffee and the interview; not sure how this fits in
1:51 - your inserts/ cutaways need to be held longer; they're too short
2:18 - the inserts needs to be tidied up. I agree - remove the editor from this sequence.You need to take the audio off the inserted clips, just have the audio from the interview. This sequence will work, just needs to be tweaked
I would fade out at the end of the sequence and cut in with the beginning of the editor conversation. We need to sort the audio out; it's a bit glitchy, but is manageable.
2:38 - there's a rather jumpy edit here, for some reason
I agree that you need to re-record the conversation.
Overall, this is coming along - mainly cosmetic tweaks now. Well done.
0:07 - the aspect ratio on the Film 4 logo is wrong; we will fix that on Monday
ReplyDelete0:16 - you might want to add some sound to your studio ident
0:18 - fade to black before bringing up the first slide. Also, we should lose the space between the lines. I can do this on Monday
0:25 - similar issue with the second slide. Also, need to have the word "died" at the end of the second line rather than hanging
0:33 - if you're going to use the fade on "civilians" you should fade the other slides in and out at well
0:41 - don't forget the film 4 credit before the "Esther" credit
0:51 - we needs some more credits (at least camera, editor, producer and writer) before the director credit. The credits themselves look quite good, although the audio needs sorting
0:54 - you've lost the audio on the third shot of the guy being captured
0:56 - these credits should go before the director credits; again the audio needs sorting
I would be tempted to desaturate the shots of the guy on the floor, to make it look more washed out and grim
1:18 - take the drop shadow off the "8 weeks" caption; use the same style as you did for the opening. We may need to tweak where we put the caption
1:22 - this pan should just be a 2/3 s static ES focusingon the path your character goes down; an extreme long shot to set up the setting
1:40 - could do with something to bridge between the coffee and the interview; not sure how this fits in
1:51 - your inserts/ cutaways need to be held longer; they're too short
2:18 - the inserts needs to be tidied up. I agree - remove the editor from this sequence.You need to take the audio off the inserted clips, just have the audio from the interview. This sequence will work, just needs to be tweaked
I would fade out at the end of the sequence and cut in with the beginning of the editor conversation. We need to sort the audio out; it's a bit glitchy, but is manageable.
2:38 - there's a rather jumpy edit here, for some reason
I agree that you need to re-record the conversation.
Overall, this is coming along - mainly cosmetic tweaks now. Well done.