Here are a few thoughts... This is indeed a very rought cut!
The opening is quite effective, although we may need to do something about the hum on the camera.
You should use a different (sans serif) font for the inter-titles and centre them on the screen.
The first title should mention since when (for example, "since the start of the civil war...)
Your pan is a little odd at 0:30 - is this an ES? If so, would be better as a static shot or a tripod-mounted pan ending on the location of the next sequence. You could use the voiceover from the next shot over the top of the ES. Again, we may need to treat the soundtrack to get rid of the buzz.
You could do with overlaying some photos/ footage to break up this long shot, although the shot itself, of the interview, is very good, if a little dark.
Not sure how your montage is supposed to work - you'll need to think about this
I would use the footage of the dog walk as part of an opening establishing montage. Start with the ES, then cut to the walk. If possible, a couple of other shots of your main character. Use the V/O from the interview, to break that up
You need to think about where/ how you are going to use your titles and how you are going to construct your narrative. I would probably have your "media montage" before your Syria intertitle before jumping to your character.
Here are a few thoughts... This is indeed a very rought cut!
ReplyDeleteThe opening is quite effective, although we may need to do something about the hum on the camera.
You should use a different (sans serif) font for the inter-titles and centre them on the screen.
The first title should mention since when (for example, "since the start of the civil war...)
Your pan is a little odd at 0:30 - is this an ES? If so, would be better as a static shot or a tripod-mounted pan ending on the location of the next sequence. You could use the voiceover from the next shot over the top of the ES. Again, we may need to treat the soundtrack to get rid of the buzz.
You could do with overlaying some photos/ footage to break up this long shot, although the shot itself, of the interview, is very good, if a little dark.
Not sure how your montage is supposed to work - you'll need to think about this
I would use the footage of the dog walk as part of an opening establishing montage. Start with the ES, then cut to the walk. If possible, a couple of other shots of your main character. Use the V/O from the interview, to break that up
You need to think about where/ how you are going to use your titles and how you are going to construct your narrative. I would probably have your "media montage" before your Syria intertitle before jumping to your character.